Monday, May 21, 2018

Good Bye Kilmouski. Rest in Peace




For anyone who truly loves animals and has ever had a pet, you know they are more than that. They are part of your family. In my case Kilmouski was my only living family. I loved him a heck of a lot more then some human ones that went before him.

Now might be a good time to run for it if you don't want to read my tribute. 


Me on the left waiting to pick up my new kitten with a friend at the airport


My first look at Kilmouski


Riding home in the car. his front legs over my arm

We spent 15 years together in this house. From the day I picked him up at the airport and brought him home he decided he would always have to be next to me wherever I was. So I made a "highchair" for him from a kitchen stool with a huge wood tray bungee corded under the seat. The cords went over the scalloped edged corners of the tray. It had a thick foam mattress in it covered with the cotton baby blanket he arrived with in his crate (washed once a week). He wasn't allowed on my sofas or upholstered chairs. If I moved to a different room, he told me to go get him his "highchair." He did that by pawing my leg or meowing until I went and got it. He slept with me every night right from the beginning. Not something I was happy about at first. I gave up on television long ago. When I bought an IPad I usually watched a movie at night. Laying on my side with my arm stretched out and my head on a pillow, he had to have his two paws over my upper arm while laying right next to me. If I wasn't in the mood for that or if it was too hot, he would fight me for that position until he won the battle. I watched most movies with an ear or two at the bottom or in the middle of the screen.


                                                      Totally relaxed in his "Highchair"

Killy was extremely dog like. He never failed to come when I called him. He met me at the door when I came home.  He knew a lot of language because I talked to him all the time.  He knew what was meant by... "OK, Lets go." He knew we were moving when my computer (AOL) said "Good Bye" and jumped down. Linda Master would tell you I could get him to say hello to her when we were on the phone by saying  HELLO. He would answer with a loud MEOW! Making her giggle.



When people talk about intimate relationships they are usually talking about a partner, husband or wife. None of which would rush into the bathroom to sit at your feet just to be close to you. I think I just heard a loud chorus of ... Thank god for that! No matter what you are doing, privacy isn't an issue with a furry friend. So if you are alone you can make up silly songs or games for their amusement. Or whatever else might make the world think you were totally insane.

Whatever you give all of yourself  to has enormous power. If you have ever experienced grief so deep,  so profound that you thought it could crush the life out of your body, then you might know how I feel.

Thank you all for following Kilmouski & Me.

Killy, you will live in me always.







    



   


                                                  

48 comments:

  1. Condoglianze sincere! Capisco perfettamente cosa provi! Ho pianto disperatamente per ogni gatto che ho perso. Il senso di abbandono durerà per tanto tempo.

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    1. Blanche,
      Nessuno sa mai cosa provi qualcun altro. Ogni persona è diversa Grazie per aver lasciato un commento. Ti auguro tutto il meglio.

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  2. Hi Catherine. So so sorry for your loss. Yep, been there. My little girl was my whole world, and although she was a dog, she was weirdly very cat-like. And so glad to hear you made up silly songs too! I have absolutely nothing to give you that would take away some of that hurt, but sending virtual hugs anyway.

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    1. Thank you Shannon for your kind words. It is good to hear someone else made up silly songs too.

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  3. So sorry for your loss. They are the light of our lives and bring so much joy and unconditional love. When they go they take a piece of our hearts with them.

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss! I Do know where you are. I hope you will be able to find comfort in knowing how much he adored you! It is special and unforgettable. My thoughts are with you.

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    1. Thank you Betsy for your kindness.

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  5. Catherine, I am SO SORRY you are going through this nightmare. You know how much I love him. I am crushed... I'm so mad that the message on my answering machine with him meowing that I purposely saved accidentally got deleted... I planned on keeping it for ever....Hello MEOWW god I miss that. Remember how I loved hearing his voice! I love you Killy, goodbye sweet baby. Miracle will show you around :(

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    1. Linda, You know me much better than anyone else does. You also knew very well the relationship I had with Killy. I am so glad for that. The house feels so empty!

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  6. Catherine......my heart breaks for you! I cannot find the words, I know how much he ment to you (and vice versa).
    I bet he had the best life of ANY cat.
    Sending you so much love.....Linda xxxxx

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    1. Thank you Linda. Sending you back all my love. XXXXXXXXXXXX

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  7. My dear Catherine, I don't know what to say... I am so very sorry for your loss. as a catlover I can imagine how much Kilmouski meant to you and forever will. Thank you for sharing him with us and a little bit of your bond and life with him. What a beautiful creature and I don't even mean his gorgeous looks. The way you describe him he sounds very special and I can totally understand he meant the world to you. My heart goes out to you, I wish you all the best and strength to deal with missing this amazing presence in your life, a connection of pure love. Take care, much love, Monique

    ps: I haven't been able to follow blogs for a very long time and while doing something on my own my eye happened to fall on your post on the side, no coincidence I'm sure.

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    1. Monique thank you so very much for your warm and understanding comment. I have lost dogs and cats before but this time is very different.

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  8. Hello Catherine,
    I am so, so sorry for your loss. To loose a loved one is always so difficult and painful. Hang in there and celebrate all the amazing, loving memories you have. You are in my prayers.
    Big hug
    Giac

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    1. Giac,
      Thank you. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.

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  9. Oh Catherine, I am SO sorry! I know exactly what you mean. What you need to remember right now is how much joy those 15 years brought you. Celebrate Kilmouski's life. Later, you will remember the reason you got a cat in the first place, and it will be time for another one. You will know when you are ready. In the meantime, I will be hugging you in my thoughts.

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    1. Thank you Megan. I am afraid it is the memories that are ripping me to pieces at the moment. It is going to take a very long time for me to heal.

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  10. Dear Catherine - I have just this minute returned home from a short trip, and was really saddened to learn about your precious cat Kilmouski. Your loving tribute is so moving, and I am really sorry for your loss.
    Curiously I was thinking about you this very morning as we were returning home. I saw a sign off one of the country roads, and immediately said to my husband I must call in there as I promised to show this place to one of my blogger friend in the United States.
    I am having some computer problems but hopefully will be able to show you in due course.
    Take care Catherine, you are in my thoughts.

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    1. Thank you Rosemary for your comforting message.
      Ah... I know exactly what that sign you passed said. ;-) I will look forward to that post sometime in the future.
      I hope you get your computer sorted out soon. Fingers crossed!

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  11. oh! mi dispiace tanto Catherine! so che le parole di conforto servono a poco in questo momento, ma pensa a tutti gli anni che tu hai reso felice il tuo cucciolo, e a quanto amore ha dato a te... i nostri animali sono parte della famiglia e il dolore per la loro perdita è immenso, quindi capisco cosa stai provando e ti abbraccio con affetto!

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    1. Grazie Cockerina per la tua comprensione e calde parole di conforto. Ti invio un grande abbraccio.

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  12. Truly a Crushing loss for you Catherine, and a bitter pill. Yet after reading your touching tribute I think that you wouldn't have traded one single moment not to have had Kilmouski in your life even though he is now no longer in it. LOVE never dies, neither yours nor his.

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    1. Elizabeth, You are right, I wouldn't trade one day of my time with Killy. I would give away all I have to have him back.

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  13. Es una gran dolor perder a un animal querido. Siempre queda su recuerdo y la ternura que te inundará cuando lo pienses en él

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    1. Isabel,
      Lui era la mia anima gemella. Eravamo così vicini che c'era un'unità.

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  14. I am so sorry Catherine. I understand perfectly what it means to have that unconditional love from a pet and the gap that they leave in one's life when they pass on.

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  15. Catherine, I was so sorry to learn of your loss . . . he will be missed by all of us with whom you have shared over the years. I have loved and lost many feline family members and each one has had unique personality traits that mark their special place in my memory. Thanks for sharing Kilmouski's endearing, enduring charm in your loving tribute.

    Fran Casselman

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    1. Thank you Fran. I have had a lost other cats. As you say each one and relationship is different. This time it is not the same.
      I do appreciate your thoughtful, kind message. XXX

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  16. Dear Catherine,
    To have an animal friend is such a gift. Their acceptance of our foibles and shortcomings, their recognition and comfort in our low moments is a small miracle.
    It is a difficult loss and not always understood by those who have not experienced an animal’s steadfast companionship and affection.
    Thank you for expressing those feelings so eloquently.
    Thinking of you.
    Regards Janine

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  17. Thank you Janine for your thoughtful message.

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  18. Oh Catherine I’m so sorry to hear your very sad news. I know how heartbreaking it is to lose a much loved pet, my home felt empty for a long time. He was a lovely handsome cat and a devoted friend. Your tribute to him is beautiful.

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  19. Thank you so much Polly. I really appreciate your kind words. XXX

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  20. Having lost my own very dear cat Mitzy this year, I truly feel your loss. Kilmouski will forever live on with your continued blog.

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  21. Thank you Jayne. I am sorry for your loss.

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  22. Je vais m'exprimer en Français parce que c'est plus facile pour moi de dire ce que je ressens en apprenant cette triste nouvelle.Nous avons le même prénom et je pense aussi le même amour des chats .J'ai eu plusieurs chats dans ma vie tous ont fait parti de notre famille au même titre qu'un humain et même plus encore .Je suis aussi fusionnel avec mes compagnons chats.Ils vivent toutes nos joies et nos peines .Ils sont notre anti stress nos confidents .Les calins que nous nous faisons je ne peux m'en passer .Les gens me disent parfois que je suis folle avec mes chats ,ils n'ont rien compris .Mon Mooghis actuel a 15 ans aussi c'est un bel âge pour un chat malgré tout .J'ai eu aussi un chatreux pendant 15 ans alors oui je comprends ce que tu ressens.Rien ne remplace un ami chat mais les années qu ils vivent avec nous sont un immense un inoubliable bonheur .Nous les rendons heureux et ils nous le rendent bien.Au revoir Kilmousi
    Amicalement

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    1. Catherine,
      Merci pour ce message de compréhension. Je savais que tu étais quelqu'un qui aimait les chats. Si pour aucune autre raison parce que vous avez fait tant de belles miniatures. J'étais sûr que tu avais fait au moins un membre de ta vraie famille.
      J'ai eu d'autres chats que j'ai aimés et perdus. Ce temps est très différent. Kilmouski était mon âme soeur. Je ne suis pas sûr que cela se traduise. Je n'ai jamais été aussi proche d'un être animal ou humain. Avec lui étant la seule chose vivante dans ma maison et n'ayant aucune autre famille notre lien était la magie pure.
      Merci d'avoir pris le temps de me laisser un commentaire.

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  23. Oh Catherine, I am so, so sorry to hear your sad news. I know how special Kilmouski was to you and can't comprehend the void his passing has left. I hope your memories of him will give you some comfort at this terrible time. You are in my thoughts xxx

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  24. Thank you Pepper understanding and thoughtful message. I have never felt so lost.

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  25. I was so sorry to read this post and can understand your loss.

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  26. Oh Catherine, this is such sad sad news. As a cat owner and lover I fully empathize. There are people out there who do not understand how devastating it is to lose a friend like this. They think - it was just a cute pet, get over it. But these little creatures are not just pets like you say, they are true, loyal and non-judgmental friends who are there for us through thick and thin. Don't know what else to say except my thoughts are with you. Carol.

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    1. Carol,
      You are so right. Thank you for your kind comment and understanding. XXX

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  27. I know just how you feel, exactly. Your Kilmouski is the most beautiful cat, with a beautiful soul to match. We are so perfectly lucky to have such animals in our lives. Bless you Catherine. You made his life heaven here on earth. I'm so sorry he's gone.
    Dana

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    1. Dana,
      It still feels as raw as the first day without him. We had a very special relationship. Thank you for your kind message. XXX

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